I love life because there will always be a situation u think u will never get over and u always do every time
I am unfortunately just like other guys. I like trashy horror, dog poems, cannibalism as a metaphor for obsessive devotion, religious imagery, people who use my name in a sentence, academic validation, lying for fun, being bisexual and bleeding out in the snow.
Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat
“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”
Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.
well you did ask
Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.
you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN
Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.
plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.
Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.
Now THIS is a Tumblr heritage post.
It amazes me how many teslas I see out and about. Like you guys bought one for real? On god? No joke?????
I saw a tesla last week with a bumper sticker that said something along the lines of "I bought this before we knew Elon was insane" and honestly?? Fair. Been thinking about them ever since.
No. That's wrong. A single molecule would be one H - hydrogen and two O - oxygen.
That's not
That's not what's in a water molecule
The molecule you describe would be absurdly reactive, I sure as hell wouldn't drink it
#someone explain this to me like im stupid#I thought one molecule of water is just like#H2O
One molecule of water has 2 hydrogens
The solar system has one star
The statement is correct
The joke is that "there are more molecules in a single glass of water than stars in the galaxy" is a common thing to say. So the reader immediately sees "hydrogens in a single molecule of water" and assumes that the writer of the statement has made a mistake. It can take a few readings before noticing that the writer said "stars in the solar system" and not the expected "galaxy", the writer was correct all along, it is us who is the fool. Such fun.
Do you... get a lot of use out of this tag?
I'M FULL OF LOVE AND JOY AND ASBESTOS I LOVE LIFE AND I LOVE YOU
YOURE FULL OF ASBESTOS????
ALSO LOVE!!!! AND JOY!!!!!!!!
BUT WHY ASBESTOS TOO????
because it's in there!!
IT!!! SHOULDN'T BE I THINK!!!!!!
I REALLY DIDN'T ASK BUT SENDING LOTS OF LOVE THOUGH!!
yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow
i don’t think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like “im going to invent a way for humans to fly”. shout out to my dad he’s a real one fr
LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my back…..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the king’s archers. soo
HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS
it’s so beautiful up here
i don’t like seeing the ground. i’m going higher
it’s cold and i can’t see anything. not sure if that’s better or worse
by zeus….what is that thing…….it’s as bright as the sun and twice as warm
the gods look truly down on me this day…apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat
i don’t understand why but he’s coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?
oh. i am in his path
it’s so hot…was it this hard to fly before? maybe i’m tired
the wax
he really does look like the sun…the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him
his skin burns. i cannot hold on
i slip through his fingers.
it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought
i wonder if he cried for me
i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was
i have not seen my father since we took flight…i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted
i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of
i am not afraid
i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid
please please please please please pleaseplease
the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing
please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease
I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N
btw with art when people say 'youve got to do it scared' 'youve got to draw bad' 'youre not gonna know how to do it until you do it' it sounds like bullshit but its true. 90% of art is just getting over the fear that it's not going to be good enough to deserve to be made in the first place. but you're here. you're alive and, with no need to justify that, you're going to make art. it's just part of being alive. you'll spend so long worrying you aren't doing it good enough that you'll look back and realized you didn't live a single day of it.
...so this morning i'm at the public pool, done with my laps, putting on makeup for work and there's a woman and a man -- both easily in their 70s -- who obviously don't know each other coming down the stairs, and she has a little trouble with her balance so he goes, "Can I help?" and holds out his hand and she takes it, navigates the steps while holding on to him and talking about the importance of exercise and he deadass breaks out the "Come here often?" to which she says, "Yes, but some mornings it would be nicer to stay in bed" while batting her lashes at him, and it was such God Tier Flirting that it reaffirmed my entire faith in humanity.
YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD FOR A MEET CUTE.
Bestie pulled out the absolute classic of 'losing her balance' and it worked
something they have control over!!! yes!!!!!!!
My number one tip for straight men (I mean, it could conceivably work for other genders and sexualities, but you’d have to adjust it quite a bit) is: inagine they’re a man.
Imagine that you just randomly told some bloke in a pub that he has beautiful eyes.
That you walked up behind your coworker Jim and started caressing his neck and shoulders while talking to him about the budget.
That you just sent a large and unexplained bouquet of flowers to Darren in Accounting.
That instead of complimenting a coworker on her breasts, you complimented him on his dick.
Does the action now seem weird? Uncomfortable? Do you no longer want to do it now that it isn’t directed at somebody you are sexually attracted to?
That strongly suggests that your action has a sexual aspect to it and therefore probably counts as sexual harassment!
I have a large, colorful tattoo on one arm. I’ve had multiple strange men cross a room to tell me how awesome it is, frequently while I’m at work, and it has never made me uncomfortable.
A couple of weeks ago, someone yelled out a car at me ‘I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BOOTS’, which was awesome.
It’s just… it’s really not hard to compliment people in a way that isn’t creepy, if your goal is actually to compliment them and not to slide a ‘btw I’m thinking about fucking you’ under the radar.
Good advice! Applicable in many ways…..
This is actually pretty good!
maraudingavengers
a-wilde-oscar-appeared
Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat
“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”
Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.
well you did ask
Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.
you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN
Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.
plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.
Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.
Now THIS is a Tumblr heritage post.
